Difficulty finding God? Why does God hide himself in darkness? Many of us have prayed a prayer just like Job did in Job 31:35..."Oh that one would hear me! Behold my desire is that the Almighty would answer me." Right in the middle of our trial, when we need God the most, we hear nothing. We demand of God that he answer us immediately. But nothing. Then comes the morbid introspection. Job 32:1..."So these three men ceased to answer Job, because he was righteous IN HIS OWN EYES." vs 2b..."because he justified himself rather than God." We begin to justify ourselves, telling God why we don't deserve this trial, totally oblivious to the fact that God IS righteous. The fact is, we DESERVE much worse than the trial, but God is so gracious to draw us back into fellowship with Him. We try to justify our way back into His presence, as if our lives were based upon works, not faith. God is just quiet and waits.
Then why won't God speak to me at that moment? Why does it seem like He isn't even there? Maybe God actually is speaking to me. Maybe I'm too busy defending myself that I don't hear his still small voice. Psalm 46:10..."Be still, and know that I am God." We start to trust in ourselves, and our own performance to get us back into fellowship with God. When all we need is to trust Him, and see how gracious He really is. God is speaking to us at that difficult moment, in a still, small voice. When we rest in Him, we can hear his voice. It is calling us back, assuring us that we are loved right at that moment. And we are righteous at that moment, because the just live by HIS faith, not OUR performance (Habakkuk 2:4). Not only is God speaking to us in the middle of our trial, but He is waiting to be gracious unto us (Isaiah 30:18). He is gracious to gently draw us to Himself, gracious to comfort us in the trial, gracious to bring us through the trial, so that He can be even MORE gracious to us! What a God we serve!